Parents Have Learning Styles, Too
A quality early childhood program values daily interaction with parents. We know how important it is to connect with the families and caregivers of the children in our programs because we realize that when we partner with parents, wonderful things happen.
However, we have all experienced the parent or caregiver who is unhappy or questions us about everything. We feel that we are trying so hard, but this parent is unhappy and is threatening to take the child out of the program. Everyone is frustrated.
If we have a child who seems unhappy, disconnected, or uneasy, we know what to do. We know that children are individuals, each with a unique way of approaching the world. We know that children have Learning Styles.
It is the same with an unhappy, disconnected or uneasy parent. They also have learning styles.
The good news is that figuring out an adult’s learning style is the same as with a child. It starts with communicating with them, instead of at them. Then, carefully observe what the adult does and says as carefully as you observe and listen to a child. Words and phrases are clues to learning styles.
Visual learners learn by seeing. They need information and the “big picture” in writing. They want photos and visual demonstrations. Visual learners will read articles you give out on development and curriculum. They are the parents who want a visually stimulating classroom environment, filled with children’s work. Visual people make eye contact and can be impatient if they have to listen to anyone for too long. In a meeting, they will write things down. Visual learners may not express emotions, but their facial expressions are usually good indicators of their feelings.
Visual learners might use some the following words and phrases:
- See, look, think
- Appears to me, looks like, under your nose
- Paint a picture, plainly see, short-sighted, in light of
Auditory learners learn by hearing. They thrive on conversation and group discussion and do best when they can talk a problem out. They will remember what was discussed. They may not make eye contact, but they are listening. Auditory learners will ask a lot of questions and enjoy listening, though they may become frustrated with someone else’s lengthy descriptions. They verbally express their emotions and may come across as loud and aggressive. Given time to speak (and knowing that someone is really listening), they will calm down and be open to a discussion. Also, auditory learners may have little awareness of the aesthetics of the classroom and therefore don’t “see” what is happening there.
Auditory learners may use this language:
- Listen, hear, understand
- Clear as a bell, loud and clear, word for word, in a manner of speaking
- To tell the truth, utterly
Tactile/Kinesthetic learners learn by action and touch. They will remember best what was done or experienced, not necessarily what they have seen or heard. They need multi-dimensional presentations and will seem distracted or lose interest if a presentation is only verbal. They need something in their hands during presentations or discussions – a chart, list, spreadsheet, or photo. When speaking to you, a tactile/kinesthetic learner will fidget and use his/her whole body to communicate. These parents will touch your arm, give you a hug, or even stamp their foot. Their emotions show in their body language. If this parent is upset, taking a walk together may bring out the best ideas.
Tactile/Kinesthetic learners might say this:
- Take, get, do
- Come to grip with, get a handle on, get in touch with
- Get the drift of, hold on, not following you,
- Start from scratch, pain in the neck, too much of a hassle
Communicating with parents and caregivers with an understanding of their different learning styles has implications for every aspect of school communication: conversations, conferences, back to school night presentations, committee meetings, and parent workshops. We can’t only post notices, email, send home fliers, or tell parents information at the door.
Consider a parent you find challenging.
Now take a step back. Take the time to really get to know that parent or caregiver. Have a face-to-face meeting. The tone of your voice cannot be accurately conveyed in an email. When you meet, don’t interrupt. Let the person speak as long as he/she needs. Listen and observe. Ask for clarification and allow him/her to elaborate on their thoughts and feelings just as we do when we actively observe and listen to children. Ask what he/she needs to better understand their child’s school, curriculum, classroom, teacher, etc.
More work, right? Initially, it may seem that way. There can be many reasons parents are not as connected with us as we would wish. We don’t need to make it more difficult because when everyone plainly sees it, when it is clear as a bell, and when we all get a handle on it, miraculous things will happen. We are all here to do this sacred work together, in partnership. It is the only way we will succeed.
Special thanks to Ron Lewkowitz for his workshops on learning styles.
Walter Barbe, “Swassing-Barbe Checklist of Observable Strength Characteristics,” Teaching Through Modality Strengths: Concepts and Practices,
Walter Barbe, Growing Up Learning
Michael Grinder, “Righting the Educational Conveyer Belt”
Robbins Research Institute , 1985 Neuro-Linguistic Professional Training, “Predicate Phrases”
Dale Sides Cooperman
Early Childhood Director
Congregation Albert
Albuquerque, NM
Idie Benjamin
Director of Professional Development
Child Care Council of Westchester
Scarsdale, NY
August 2019
