Deepening Parent/Guardian-Teacher Relationships Through Conferences
In anticipation of parent/guardian-teacher conferences, the teaching staff at Temple Sinai ECEP in Summit NJ composed the following list of tips to foster positive conversations that will benefit all involved.
Each child is the love of his/her parents’/guardians’ lives.
Parents/guardians would jump in front of a train to protect their child. If you become the train from which parents/guardians must protect their child, they will not hear anything that you want to share and will be unable to support your efforts in the classroom.
Reach out to parents/guardians before conferences to learn what they would like to discuss.
This information will give you an idea of what concerns/interests them most about their child’s education and development. If you think that you will need more time with a particular family, consider scheduling on an alternate day, or block off two time slots.
Listen more than you speak.
This is the parents’/guardians’ conference, too, and they are the experts on their child. Take this opportunity to learn as much as you can about the child and the family from these experts.
Try to focus the conference on the areas and skills that are developmentally appropriate.
In most cases, conferences should start with a focus on social-emotional skills which are the basis of successful learning in the future. The assessment is a starting point from which both teachers and parents/guardians can collaborate on what is best for the child.
Always start and end with a positive.
No matter how sure parents/guardians are of their parenting, they are often a bit anxious at conferences. Break the ice with a cute, witty story about their child, and try to end on a positive note, as well. In the end, they want to know that their child is in the right place.
Choose your words gently and carefully.
The wording that you use (in writing and spoken) will follow that family wherever they go. If it is clear to the parent/guardian how important that child is to you, it makes it much easier to discuss any struggles the child is having. And always remember that the child is simply that – a young child who is developing and learning how to function in the world.
Conferences are a judgment-free zone.
- Listen with empathy when parents/guardians confide in you about a challenge. And remember, they may feel comfortable sharing their frustrations with you, but we should not express our similar frustrations to them.
- Never judge or express your thoughts on their parenting choices. Respect them as the parents/guardians.
- Do not make assumptions about what is happening at home based on what you see in the classroom.
Ask the question, “What are you seeing at home?” to build a bridge connecting home and school behavior.
Often, when you ask this question, parents/guardians will open up about challenges at home. Once they share their observations and/or challenges, it will be easier to share what you are observing in the classroom.
Any comments you share must be about your observations in the classroom only.
We are all professionals but not experts in all areas of development. Even if we have thoughts about certain issues, never try to diagnose or explain the origin of the concerning behavior.
Parents/guardians should not hear any concerns about their children for the first time at the conference.
Relationships and communication should begin long before conferences.
Do not answer any questions or concerns that you and your teaching partner have not discussed in advance.
Let parents/guardians talk it out, but don’t feel like you must have the right answer at that time. It is ok (and professional) to take notes and ask for some time to observe/research. You may want to schedule a follow-up meeting in the near future.
If you ever feel the conference is not going as planned - reach out for backup and support.
You can plan to resume at another time, particularly if you have another family waiting. Invite your supervisor or director into that meeting for support.
What tips or quotes do you keep in mind when preparing for difficult conversations with parents in your program? Feel free to share your ideas in the comment section below. You must log in to comment.
Early Childhood Education Program teaching staff
Temple Sinai, Summit, NJ
March 2019
