A few Mondays ago, my day started off in a very upsetting way. A teacher colleague pulled me out of another teacher’s classroom extremely agitated because of a staffing situation in her class. She raised her voice and accused me of not understanding what she needed. She was loud and emotional in a very public space. I was taken aback by her anger and accusations. We resolved the issue, but I felt terrible about how the conversation had occurred.
When we think about the nature of our work, one of the most important parts is cultivating meaningful relationships, including those between teacher and director. A solid, trusting teacher, director partnership raises us to a much higher level. We spend so much time at work, it should be a place where we all feel supported, cared for and heard. This responsibility falls on both the director and the teacher equally.
By approaching this relationship with respect and care, we have the opportunity to build incredible sacred partnerships that sustain and renew us. It may take some hard work, but the rewards of working in a constructive partnership are immeasurable.
Here are some tips to have a more constructive and respectful exchanges between teacher and director.
- Be respectful - Is this a good time to talk? Can we talk in private for a moment? These are questions we must ask each other unless there is an immediate danger. We can’t assume that the other is available and/or receptive in the moment. Remember, tone and body language influence the delivery of information
- Be reflective - Have I asked for help? There are so many times that we think we have conveyed our need for support or help but in actuality we have not. If we enter into a conversation on the offense, the result is going to be defensive. Explain the situation at hand and then state what it is you need. We cannot assume that we are all thinking about the same resolutions. If you don’t know what you need, ask to work together co-construct solutions.
- Be honest - Have you articulated the real issue? In the example I gave you, the teacher felt overwhelmed because she thought I hadn’t taken a request seriously. In actuality, I had arranged for additional support staff to be in her classroom, they just hadn’t arrived yet. There was a miscommunication that could have been easily resolved. The real question, “Is there going to be another staff member with me?” had not been asked.
- Be optimistic – Have I given the other person the benefit of the doubt? So often we get caught up in our own distress that we forget that there might be a reasonable explanation for why something has happened. Approaching issues with this understanding allows for constructive dialogue around why things have happened.
- Be proactive – Have I spoken out about concerns before they become an issue? As professionals we are in control of how we react to situations. We have the power to bring prospective problems to the forefront to ensure they are dealt with before they escalate. Doing this constructively means having ideas about possible solutions and the willingness to influence the change that is necessary.
Jennie Rubin
Director of Early Childhood Education
Temple B’nai Or
Morristown, NJ
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