Speaking to Parents about Development Concerns
As early childhood educators, we are often the first to notify parents of any concerns in their child’s development. How do we approach such a conversation in a way that parents are open to receive the information positively? I am not an expert on difficult conversations. However, I am a parent who has had to listen, truly listen to what my child’s teachers were reporting.
When my son Ari was a toddler, I noticed discrepancies in his development. My husband thought I was over-thinking -- I knew in my gut that something was off. Then, at the age of 5, Ari was placed on an IEP. There was no formal diagnosis at that point. They labeled him “Developmentally Delayed.” I hated that term, but Ari received speech and language and OT and was getting the help he needed.
It is important to understand that there is a “mourning” period parents go through when they hear for the first time that their child has a disability.
In the 5th grade, Ari was the one who was the distraction in class. At first, I made excuses for him, blamed the teacher, the school, and the dynamic of kids in the class. Sound familiar? While I was blaming others, I knew in my heart that it was not their fault. I didn’t know how to respond. I was disappointed and embarrassed, I couldn’t believe my sweet boy was the disruption in class.
The next time you have to have that difficult conversation, please remember what I have shared. I am a parent who is an early childhood professional with a Master’s in Special Education, and it took me time to process and accept what I was hearing. Please do not judge or take any negative responses personally. It is important to be empathetic and supportive. Parents need time to process the information before they are able to accept the observations. As parents are ready for the next steps, offer to assist them in navigating.
When in doubt, ask your director for support in one or more of the following ways:
- Attend your meetings with parents.
- Bring in outside professionals, such as OT’s or behavior specialists, for training and to observe students in the classrooms.
- Suggest books/articles and discuss the big ideas as a staff.
- Roll play at staff meetings or with teaching teams.
I am happy to report that Ari has successfully completed his first semester of college!
Stacey Gabriel
Teacher and Curriculum Coach
Temple Beth Avodah
February 2202
